People Say the Darnedest Things

My friend Tisha, also an adoptive parent, recently wrote a fabulous post about our "lucky" adopted kids. I love how she's able to voice what I cannot (or will not).

A "Must Read"

I came across this blog through this blog. I highly recommend you read this post about love and adoption. I think I need to print it out and carry it with me. Always.

Predestined for Adoption

Pastor and author John Piper today posted on Facebook that his wife was going to an orphanage in China. It reminded me of a message we heard before we started our adoption journey. It really was an encouragement and the kick in the butt we needed to start our process. I went back a read it again today and felt led to share.

(This message is also available in audio format on Piper's site -- click on the link below).

Predestined for Adoption to the Praise of His Glory: Reflections on Being Adopted by God and Adopting Children

By John Piper
June 20, 2004

Ephesians 1:1-6
Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To the
saints who are in Ephesus, and are faithfulin Christ Jesus: 2Grace to you
and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 3Blessed be the God
and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every
spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4even as he chose us in him
before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless
before him. In love 5he predestined usfor adoption through Jesus Christ,
according to the purpose of his will, 6to the praise of his glorious grace,
with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. Adoption is one of the most
profound realities in the universe. I say “universe” and not “world” because
adoption goes beyond the world. It is greater than the world, and it is before
the world in the plan of God, and it will outlast the world as we know it.
Indeed it is greater than the “universe” and is rooted in God’s own nature.

I have three aims this morning: 1) that all of us would consider and embrace the wonder of our adoption into God’s family through Jesus Christ, and 2) that all of us would support the ministry of adoption through the Micah and Lydia Funds financially, and 3) that many of you married couples would consider adopting children into your family as an overflow of the inheritance that you have in Christ from God, your Father. My assumption is that we need to understand and enjoy our own adoption by God before we can properly understand and enjoy what it should mean to adopt a child into our family.

Adoption is mentioned in Ephesians 1:5. “In love 5he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6to the praise of his glorious grace.” There are three things I want to point out from this passage about God’s adopting us. These three things are just what you would expect if you completed Romans 11 with us, or if you read Romans 11:36 which closes the first section of the book, “From him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.” All things, including adoption, are from God and through God and to God. That is what I see in Ephesians 1:5-6.

Let’s read it again: “In love 5he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6to the praise of his glorious grace.”

1. Adoption Is From God
First adoption is “from him”—from God. “In love he predestined us for adoption.” So adoption was part of a God’s plan. It was his idea, his purpose. It was not an afterthought. He didn’t discover one day that against his plan and foreknowledge humans had sinned and orphaned themselves in the world, and then come up with the idea of adopting them into his family. No, Paul says, he predestined adoption. He planned it.

And if we ask when this predestination happened, verse 4 makes that plain: “He chose us in him [Christ] before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.” Before the creation of the world, and before we existed, God looked on us in our need, and he looked upon his Son crucified and risen as the all sufficient atonement for our sin, and because of that he chose us to be holy and blameless. And to that end he “predestined us for adoption.” It happened before the creation of the world.

So the first thing you need to know about your adoption into God’s family through Christ is that God chose you and predestined you in love for adoption before the foundation of the world. God’s love for you and its expression in your adoption into his eternal family of joy did not start in this world. It reaches back to eternity. So when Paul says, “From him are all things” (Romans 1:36), he includes our adoption, and means that before the foundation of the world he predestined you to be his child.

Therefore your adoption is not based on your fitness, your worth, or your distinctives. It is rooted in God’s eternal purpose and grace. And that means that your adoption is not fragile or tenuous or uncertain. God will not adopt and then find out that you are not worthy and unadopt. He knows we are unworthy. And he chose us and predestined us for adoption. This is firm and sure and unshakable.

2. Adoption Is Through Jesus Christ
Second, “All things are from him and through him.” This is true of adoption and you can see it in Ephesians 1:5. “In love 5he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6to the praise of his glorious grace.” We are adopted through Jesus Christ. What does that mean? It means that to be adopted by God we had to be died for. Verse 7: “In him [Christ] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.”

Before the foundation of the world God saw that we would be sinners and planned the death of his Son so that our sins could be forgiven and God’s wrath removed. Through that we were adopted. Note two clear implications of this.

1) Not all people are God’s adopted children.
The blood of Christ covers the sins of all who believe (Romans 3:25). Therefore believers in Jesus are adopted, and no others. If we talk about God being the Father of all mankind, we speak very loosely and are not talking truly about those who are saved.

The second implication of being adopted through Jesus Christ:
2) We were not cute little orphans that God was attracted to; we enemies in rebellion against God.

That is who God decided before the foundation of the world to adopt. Romans 5:6, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” Romans 5:10, “While we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son.”

So our adoption is not based on our being worthy or cute or attractive. It is based on the free and sovereign grace of God planned before the world and bought for us by the blood of Christ.

3. Adoption Is for God’s Glory
Third, “All things are from him and through him and to him.” Adoption, therefore, is “to him.” That is, it is for his glory. You see that in Ephesians 1:5-6. “He predestined usfor adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6to the praise of his glorious grace.” The goal of your adoption is that the glory of God’s grace would be praised.
God adopted us in our unworthiness to make his grace look great. You were adopted for the praise of the glory of his grace. God’s action in adopting us is radically God-centered and God-exalting. I know that many hear this and think it is not loving. How can God’s seeking to exalt himself be loving? The answer is that the glory of God is what we were made to see and enjoy for all eternity. Nothing else will satisfy our souls. Therefore if God does not exalt himself for us to admire and enjoy, then he is unloving. That is, he does not give us what we need.

We are adopted by God so that we will rejoice that God made much of us. We are adopted by God so that we will enjoy making much of God’s grace as our Father forever. We are adopted so that in this family the Father and the unique elder Son, Jesus Christ, will be the source and focus of all our joy. We are adopted “to the praise of the glory of his grace.” It will take an eternity for the glory of that grace to be fully displayed for finite people. Therefore, we will be increasingly happy in God for ever and ever. That is the final meaning of adoption.

Five Implications
Now, consider five implications of this for adopting children and for supporting those who adopt by contributing to the Micah Fund and the Lydia Fund.

1. We adopt a child not for our own glory but for God’s glory.
God adopted us for the praise of the glory of his grace. Therefore we adopt for the praise of the glory of his grace. The questions you ask as you ponder adopting a child who needs a family are not first questions of feasibility or affordability. The questions you ask first are: Is my heart fixed on glorifying the grace of God? Is my aim in this to make the grace of God look glorious? Is Christ the center and goal of this decision? Are all the factors being weighed in relation to Christ? We adopt a child not for our own glory but for the glory of God’s grace.

2. In adopting and rearing a child our goal is not to make much of the child, but rather to live and teach and lead in such a way that the child grows up to enjoy making much of God.
Our aim is not to take a child’s low views of self and replace them with high views of self. Rather our aim is to take a child’s low views of God and replace them with high views of God. Our aim is not take a child with little sense of worth and fill him with a great sense of worth. Rather our aim is to take a child who by nature makes himself the center of the universe and show him that he was made to put God at the center of the universe and get joy not from seeing his own tiny worth, but from knowing Christ who is of infinite worth. We adopt to lead a child to the everlasting joy of making much of the glory of the grace of God.

3. In adopting we model for children and others the mercy and the justice of God.
We model mercy because we freely choose to love this child, no matter what. Many adoptions happen sight unseen. The child passes no test. He is loved freely without meeting conditions. We don’t base our choice on what we see. We love because we have been loved. This is mercy.

And when the child comes, chosen freely by mercy, we now fold that child into a pattern of firm and sweet discipline. We fold him into the mercy of justice. From the very beginning, within weeks, there are expectations and consequences when these expectations are not met. We raise the child in “the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (paideia kai nouthesia kuriou). And we know from Hebrews 12 that the discipline of the Lord is often painful because without discipline there will be no “peaceful fruit of righteousness” (Hebrews 12:11). So we see in adoption the mercy and the justice of God mingled in wise and loving proportion.

4. Adopting will almost certainly bring heartache and stress and suffering, just like adoption cost God the life of his Son.
We are adopted “through Jesus Christ”—through his suffering. I have letters from parents in my files describing the agony of adoptions that didn’t work or almost didn’t work. Cases of mental illness and profound physical disability and bizarre and inexplicable behavior. Of course this is not unique to adoption. It can happen—it does happen—with our biological children. The implication is this: we adopt with our eyes wide open. This will bring pain. And this may bring tragedy. We embraced it. And, if we are faithful, in the end, it will certainly bring joy.

Because of implication #5:
5. We dare only adopt children if we have a firm faith in the all-sufficiency of God’s future grace.
The pain of adopting and rearing children is sure. It will come in one form or the other. Should that stop us from having children or adopting children? No. The self-centered world “cuts their losses” by having few or no children. (And there is way too much of that thinking in the church.) In one sense we may be very glad that such people don’t tend to have children or at least not many children. Because it means that breed of selfish person will die out more quickly since they don’t replace themselves. But on the other hand, we grieve, hoping that they will see that the grace of God is sufficient for every new day no matter how difficult, and that there is more true joy in walking with God through fire, than walking on beaches without him.

Letter to Noël
Perhaps the best way to illustrate this role of faith in future grace would be to read some of the letter I wrote to Noël on November 6, 1995 at 11:12 PM when God had brought me to the place of saying yes, at age 50, to the adoption of Talitha.

Dear Noël,
With confidence in the all-sufficient future grace of God, I am
ready and eager to move ahead with the adoption of Talitha Ruth. I want to
thank you that during these years, when your heart has yearned to adopt a
daughter, you have not badgered me or coerced me. You have been wonderfully
patient. You have modeled faith in the sufficiency of prayer. You have
always expressed support of me and my ministry even if we should never
adopt. You have been reasonable in all our discussions and have come forth
with your rationale only when asked. You have honored my misgivings as
worthy of serious consideration. . . .
. . . To my perspective it seems to be the path that will “spread a
passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples.” . . . I believe it is the path of greatest love . . . And therefore I have
confidence that God is pleased with it.
. . . I believe our eyes are open. . . . We have come through enough
to believe that God’s future grace will be sufficient. His mercies are new
every morning and there will be mercies for every weight and wonder on this
new path of our lives. I thank God for you. I enter with you gladly on
this path. Whether we live to see our daughter grown or not, we will have
done well to take her in. Life is very short, whether 12 hours, like Ashley
Hope, or 50 years like me, or 76 years like my father, or 94 years like
Crystal Anderson. What matters is not that we do all we might have
done or all we dreamed of doing, but that, while we live, we live by faith in
future grace and walk in the path of love. The times are in God’s hands, not
ours. With this common conviction we will, God willing, embrace our new
daughter and give ourselves, with all the might that God inspires in us, to
love her into the kingdom. May the Lord establish the plans of our hearts,
and bring Talitha Ruth (and the future husband God already knows) into deep
and lasting fellowship with Christ. May she be an ebony broach of beauty
around your aging neck, and a crown of purity and joy on your graying head.
I love you,
Johnny

Three Closing Exhortations
Consider and embrace the wonder of our adoption into God’s family through Jesus Christ.
Support financially the ministry of adoption through the Micah Fund and Lydia Fund.
Married couples: consider adopting children into your family as an overflow of the inheritance that you have in Christ from God, your Father.

© Desiring God
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on our website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Desiring God.
By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

Foreign Adopted Children Equality (FACE) Act

This is from Vera's (and several others') blogs:

FACE Act
Please take a moment to read this and sign the petition.

Please ask your spouses and friends to do the same.

The intercountry adoption process is a long, tedious process for American citizens seeking to adopt a foreign born child. Paperwork includes home studies, finger printing and criminal checks. The process can take up to three years to complete.

At the completion of the adoption, the child must be approved for a U.S. immigrant visa in order to enter the U.S. and gain citizenship. The immigrant visa is required despite the fact that the "immigrant" is the child of a U.S. citizen.

The U.S. is one of the few developed countries in the world that requires internationally adopted children of citizens to immigrate in order to join their new families. Most countries recognize internationally adopted children as citizens upon the finalization of their adoption.

The Foreign Adopted Children Equality Act (FACE Act) would recognize that internationally adopted children deserve to be treated as children of American citizens and accorded the same citizenship process as children born aboard to American citizens. Under the FACE Act, Adoptive parents would apply for a U.S. passport and Consular Report of Birth instead of a visa. These documents provide adoptive parents with immediate proof of citizenship for their adopted child and provide immediate proof of U.S. citizenship. "- McLane Layton Equality for Adopted Children (EACH)

Please follow the link to sign the petition.

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/face-act-of-2009.html

Pictures from Haiti

A team from my church recently went to Haiti. One of the adoptive parents took some nice portraits of Islande and Katiana. Enjoy!!

I sure miss them.

Fifty2K

For HIS Glory Outreach is excited to launch its new campaign: Fifty2K!

We are looking for 2000 partners to help us with a one-time $50 donation to help us reach our budget for 2008. In this sluggish economy, adoptions have dropped off (and adoptions are taking so long) leaving us below our annual needs to care for the 130+ children in the orphanage. We need your help to get through the rest of 2008. With the faithful sponsors we have, adoptive families that sponsor their children, and with your generous help during this campaign, we can secure a home and care for 130 children through the rest of this year! Won't you please consider a one-time gift at this time?

For HIS Glory Outreach
P.O. Box 64091
Colorado Springs, CO 80962

For HIS Glory Outreach will not share any private information given to us with any outside organizations.

IBESR

After 19 months and 9 days,

WE ARE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was supposed to be 4 to 7 month stay.

Thank you for praying us out! Please keep up the prayers. We still have a long way to go!

April Update Photos from Haiti

(and no news)

Do We? Don't We?

While I was in CA, I received e-mails from several friends that Vera at A Child's Voice International that our names were published March 2 in a French/Creole paper, stating we had dispensation (presidential pardon for having biological child).

Vera recently posted that she has confirmed that the list is indeed accurate. However, we haven't heard anything from our people.

Please pray for release from IBESR. We've been there 18 months now. We originally had dispensation back in May 2008, but continued to sit awaiting the final signature to be released from that office.

Presidential Waiver Update (Dispensation)

Vera at A Child's Voice International just posted this:

When an adoption file exits IBESR, it has to have four signatures on the Authorization to Adopt Document that gives a particular family the permission to adopt a specific child.

In the past, when there families who had biological children, IBESR would compile a list of the names of the families and other information and send the list to the President of Haiti's office where the President's Cabinet or the President's personal secretary would sign the list of names. That list would then return to IBESR and the files with biological children would get signed out of IBESR.

Now, for the files of prospective adoptive parents with biological children, three of the different department directors sign the Authorization to Adopt, with the last signature of the main IBESR director blank.

IBESR then sends the entire adoption dossier (in packs of 10 dossiers at a time) to the Ministry of Justice where the files are read. Once they are read there, they are forwarded to the Presidents Cabinet Minister who reads each adoption dossier. Once he is finished with it, he forwards the 10-pack of dossiers to the President's Personal Secretary who reads each dossier...and then signs the waiver letter.

Once that is done, IBESR can pick the 10-pack of dossiers back up to take back to IBESR. Then the main IBESR director signs the last signature on the Authorization to Adopt and the file is formally signed out of IBESR.

Because of the way the dossiers are processed in 10-packs of dossier and they can only be sent 10 at a time...keeping in mind that over 1,000 foreign adoptions were processed in 2008, you can imagine the slow down in getting dossiers with families who have biological children out of IBESR.

Now, for files that had previously been signed out of IBESR with families who have biological kids, Parquet has refused to process those files without a Presidential Waivers. However, IBESR and the Presidental Office were having difficulty figuring out how to go about getting waivers for those files since they were officially signed out and finished with in IBESR. I am hearing that this issue has been resolved and the Presidential Office is accepting those files to issue waivers. However, I do not know what the exact process is.

We had the original dispensation back in May 2008. Now I guess we're waiting in groups of 10 for the Ministry of Justice, then back to the president's office, then back to IBESR.

I must have prayed for patience.

Back from Haiti

I am back. Here's a teaser photo. I'll post more when I get organized and rested. We are going to get Charis tomorrow (I think).

School

An adoption pal who recently picked up her son (Praise God!!!) took some pictures -- THANKS, MARY!!!

Here are the girls doing schoolwork.


Katiana is in the back, looking down.


Islande and her beautiful smile!

Happy Birthday, Islande!

June 2005 (Picture the orphange owner still had in her files)


July 2005 (Picture the orphange owner still had in her files)

Nov. 11, 2006 (Photo someone sent me)

June 4, 2007. About the moment God put her on my heart to be our daughter.

August 2007

February 2008

July 2008. The last time I saw you.

Happy Birthday, my dear sweet girl! I can't believe you're 9! And it breaks my heart that you're not here ... but I'll be there soon. You're such a loving, nurturing and helpful young lady. I can't wait until you're part of our family.

Oh, dear Lord, help this mama's waiting heart.

Music to My Ears

I received these pictures today. Islande is with the blue recorder in the tank top.

I can't wait to see Islande and Katiana. I wish I had news, but apparently we're still awaiting a second dispensation, which we have to have before we're released from IBESR, where we have been for 17 months now. We have been in process with the girls for 20 months. I guess we're going to be one of those adoptions that take 3+ years. Please pray for us ...

February Update Photos from Haiti

Here are February photo updates from Haiti. Our file apparently still is in dispensation (again).

My Mothers of Preschoolers group had a MOPS & Pops dinner Friday with entertainment provided by an improv group. The food was great and the entertainment was hilarious! Mark and I had a great time.

New picture from Haiti

A fellow adoptive parent from church recently gave me pictures of the girls, mostly of Islande, but I did get a most precious photo of the two of them.

Thanks, Sherri!!

Pictures from Haiti

Here are the newest pictures of our girls. I miss them so much. I pray we get some good news soon. Both the girls are growing up too fast.

Haitian President and "Let God be God"

Vera at A Child's Voice International posted this update today:

President Preval - Pardon for Biological Children: On Thursday, January 15, 2009, President Preval had a meeting with the new IBESR director regarding the issue of families who have biological children who want to adopt in Haiti. President Preval told the IBESR director that the families should be able to adopt in Haiti even if these families have biological children. Good News for many children in Haiti & for those families who want to adopt them!

I'm glad President Preval feels that way. Now, good sir, please sign out our paperwork so we can get out of IBESR. And please change the law to reflect your feelings. We want our children home. Our family is incomplete. We have been waiting so long, and I fear we have much more time to wait.

.........................................

As an aside, I am an avid reader. Except for last year. I started many books last year and finished not one of them. I read daily, but last year it was mainly limited to my Bible, the commentary I'm reading, or a daily devotional. However, I am determined to get back into my old habit (a resolution, if you will). Last night I finished "Let God Be God" by Ray C. Stedman. The subtitle is "Life-changing truths from the book of Job."

EXCELLENT. Very thought-provoking, and I pray, life-changing.

Two excerpts from the last section I want to share with you:

"The God who created the universe has chosen us to be the ones to bear His name in the hour of affliction. There is no higher honor than that."

and

"All the painful experiences of our lives become ways of sharing the sufferings of Christ--if we view those experiences as a privilege and not as a reproach. When we learn to see life from God's perspective, we realize that (as songwriter Randy Stonehill put it) 'this life is just a moment in the morning of our day.' Suffering is temporary; life with God is forever."

All My Children

I finally connected with a friend who went to Haiti in November. Here are some pictures of the girls with their gifts. Thanks, Amy!!

(still no news, in case you were wondering -- there's the soap drama for you.)

In the last week, Charis went roller skating at a rink for the first time, and she had "Show Week" at gymnastics.

(be sure to turn off the music player at the bottom of my blog)

Memorial for Esperancia

One of the sweet angels from the orphanage died yesterday after a short illness. She was a sweet baby with the cutest expressions. My heart hurts so much over her passing. My love goes out to the family who loved her so much, to the nannies and staff who tireless and lovingly cared for her, to the children who considered her their baby sister.

http://www.forhisgloryoutreach.org/memorial.php